It was a typical Friday night; the club was filling up with customers and the dressing room with dancers. I had just sat down at the bar and lit a cigarette when I noticed 2 older ladies in dresses enter the club. They were carrying a box that had a bunch of white bags in them. My boss called me down from the bar and asked me to take the box upstairs to the dressing room and make sure every girl got a bag. One of the ladies looked at me in the eyes and said: “This one is for you.” I took the box upstairs, set it on the counter and told everyone to take one. Everyone began searching through the bags to see what was in them. They began to take out candy, hand lotion, lip gloss, and bracelets. There were also tiny notebooks and pencils that said: Jesus loves you. There were little Bibles and a pamphlet that had a story about a woman from the Bible named Mary Magdalene. Down at the bottom of the bag, my eyes fell on a pack of gum, I reached for it, put it in my purse and threw everything else back in the bag and then into my locker; and headed downstairs to get ready for stage.
The night ended on a sour note, there was little money to be had with so many girls showing up- just to work the weekend, and to top it all off I was far too sober to deal with my ex-boyfriend who was blowing up my voicemail because he found his way into another drug binge. I hated my job, I hated my life and I was beginning to hate myself for allowing my life to turn into a complete train wreck. I emptied my locker of dollar bills and stumbled across the white bag the church ladies had brought in earlier. Hungry from working all night, I rummaged through the bag searching for the candy bars I remembered seeing in the bag. Once again, there was that pamphlet about Mary Magdalene. Curiosity got a hold of me and I sat down, kicked my boots up on the counter; and began reading. I read that Mary Magdalene was a woman from the Bible with a savory past, she was said to be a prostitute. Then I read that she met Jesus Christ, the Son of God; and when realizing His love for her, she was never the same. To be totally honest, all that stuff about sin, God sending His only Son to earth and repentance didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. But that night when I got home, I found myself reading that little pamphlet over and over. And for days and weeks to follow I was continually drawn back to thoughts of God and leaving behind my own savory past. One night I don’t know what came over me, but I went searching for a Bible my aunt gave me when I was a little girl. I blew the dust off it, and opened it up. I found the story about the Magdalene woman and read it straight from the Bible. For the first time in a long time, I wondered if there really was some sort of hope…even for me.
I didn’t know it at the time, but there were a lot of people that believed there was hope for me. They were praying for me and inviting me to church, and trying to get me to believe in hope. I finally decided to take a chance and go to church with one of the ladies that kept inviting me. What a night that was! It felt like the preacher man was talking straight to me. He was talking about being hurt so deep that nothing or no one could make it feel better. He talked about feeling a shame in your heart that no one could understand. He talked about a need to be loved and a kind of love that was pure and real without expectations or conditions. He spoke of a kind of love that never gets old or makes you feel worse than you did before you fell in love…a kind of love that wouldn’t leave you if you failed or made a mistake. This is what I had been looking for all my life, this love he was talking about…that was why I did everything I did, why I looked where I looked, and made the choices that I made. All my life was a search to be loved in a way this preacher man was talking about. The problem was not that I wanted or needed that love; the problem was I had been looking for it in all the wrong places, the wrong men, the wrong ways. Money, success, relationships, sex, drugs, I had tried it all but none of it worked. I still felt empty and incomplete…broken and ashamed. If I would have kept filling that void with more of the same, I would either kill myself or be killed.
Let me tell you, that night at church I cried my heart out at the altar. I knew I wanted out of the hopeless life I had created for myself and I wanted the kind of love I heard the preacher man talk about. Do you know that even after that night at church, I didn’t change all my ways and completely turn my life around? I still made mistakes and I still did things I knew I shouldn’t have done. My life wasn’t instantly all fixed. However, I did make the decision to hang up my dancing boots; I knew that dancing was the source of so much of my pain. I always found myself doing things I didn’t want to do and ending up in situations I wish I would have never been a part of. However, it was my only job and it brought in money to pay my bills, so I had to figure out how I could just walk away from the only source of income I had. I knew I wanted out, but I didn’t know how and it seemed impossible. Then the words of that preacher man came to mind. He said that God had a plan for me and that God’s plans for me are for good and not for disaster, that God gave me a future and a hope. That’s exactly what I was looking for and what I needed. He said the way to have a good future and hope is through trusting in His Son Jesus. Once again, I didn’t understand everything about God and Jesus; I just knew that the church people and my aunt were always praying for me, they always made it a point to tell me they were praying for me. I never thought too much about it before, but in that moment, it seemed like the only hope I had…praying to Jesus. So that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t know if I was doing it right or saying the right things, but I just said what I was feeling, and I said it sincerely to Jesus. I told Him I wanted out of stripping and I needed a new job and that I hated the life I was living and I wanted to live better and be happier and more than anything…to be loved the way that preacher man was talking about. I asked Jesus if He was really the answer to all these things than to please help me turn my life around.
Throughout my life I tried a lot of things to find the love and happiness I missed as a child and while I was growing up. It wasn’t until I tried Jesus that I finally felt new and whole and loved unconditionally. It was hard to believe that God loved me right where I was, standing nearly naked in that strip club, but He did. He knew I needed His love, and He found me through a couple of church ladies that showed up one night and kept praying for me. And even though I kept putting off going to church because I felt out of place and ashamed, the bottom line was that God already knew who I was and where I was. In His own Words He says that He knows our every thought, He knows our every step, and there is nothing about us that is hidden from Him. And still…He loved me enough to send people right out to the club to tell me that His Son Jesus loves me and is waiting for me to say yes to His hand of love. God loves you too and that’s the only reason I came back to the strip clubs. I wanted to be sure you know about His love for you and the hope you have in Jesus Christ. His love is powerful and unending; Jesus will never fail you or harm you. If you want this kind of love for yourself just ask God for it, He’s waiting for you. He sent His only Son Jesus to die for your sins so that you could have a brand new life and the promise of Heaven. There is a simple prayer below to help you invite Jesus into your life.
“Dear God, I believe You love me and You have a plan for my life. I’m tired of living life without You. I believe You gave Your one and only Son Jesus to take the weight of my sin. I want your forgiveness and I want to live with you forever. I accept Jesus as my Savior and ask Him into my heart. I choose life, I choose love. Jesus, I choose You. Amen”
If you want to talk to someone about the decision you just made or want someone to pray with you, please call or stop by our church. Jesus awaits your prayer…
The night ended on a sour note, there was little money to be had with so many girls showing up- just to work the weekend, and to top it all off I was far too sober to deal with my ex-boyfriend who was blowing up my voicemail because he found his way into another drug binge. I hated my job, I hated my life and I was beginning to hate myself for allowing my life to turn into a complete train wreck. I emptied my locker of dollar bills and stumbled across the white bag the church ladies had brought in earlier. Hungry from working all night, I rummaged through the bag searching for the candy bars I remembered seeing in the bag. Once again, there was that pamphlet about Mary Magdalene. Curiosity got a hold of me and I sat down, kicked my boots up on the counter; and began reading. I read that Mary Magdalene was a woman from the Bible with a savory past, she was said to be a prostitute. Then I read that she met Jesus Christ, the Son of God; and when realizing His love for her, she was never the same. To be totally honest, all that stuff about sin, God sending His only Son to earth and repentance didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. But that night when I got home, I found myself reading that little pamphlet over and over. And for days and weeks to follow I was continually drawn back to thoughts of God and leaving behind my own savory past. One night I don’t know what came over me, but I went searching for a Bible my aunt gave me when I was a little girl. I blew the dust off it, and opened it up. I found the story about the Magdalene woman and read it straight from the Bible. For the first time in a long time, I wondered if there really was some sort of hope…even for me.
I didn’t know it at the time, but there were a lot of people that believed there was hope for me. They were praying for me and inviting me to church, and trying to get me to believe in hope. I finally decided to take a chance and go to church with one of the ladies that kept inviting me. What a night that was! It felt like the preacher man was talking straight to me. He was talking about being hurt so deep that nothing or no one could make it feel better. He talked about feeling a shame in your heart that no one could understand. He talked about a need to be loved and a kind of love that was pure and real without expectations or conditions. He spoke of a kind of love that never gets old or makes you feel worse than you did before you fell in love…a kind of love that wouldn’t leave you if you failed or made a mistake. This is what I had been looking for all my life, this love he was talking about…that was why I did everything I did, why I looked where I looked, and made the choices that I made. All my life was a search to be loved in a way this preacher man was talking about. The problem was not that I wanted or needed that love; the problem was I had been looking for it in all the wrong places, the wrong men, the wrong ways. Money, success, relationships, sex, drugs, I had tried it all but none of it worked. I still felt empty and incomplete…broken and ashamed. If I would have kept filling that void with more of the same, I would either kill myself or be killed.
Let me tell you, that night at church I cried my heart out at the altar. I knew I wanted out of the hopeless life I had created for myself and I wanted the kind of love I heard the preacher man talk about. Do you know that even after that night at church, I didn’t change all my ways and completely turn my life around? I still made mistakes and I still did things I knew I shouldn’t have done. My life wasn’t instantly all fixed. However, I did make the decision to hang up my dancing boots; I knew that dancing was the source of so much of my pain. I always found myself doing things I didn’t want to do and ending up in situations I wish I would have never been a part of. However, it was my only job and it brought in money to pay my bills, so I had to figure out how I could just walk away from the only source of income I had. I knew I wanted out, but I didn’t know how and it seemed impossible. Then the words of that preacher man came to mind. He said that God had a plan for me and that God’s plans for me are for good and not for disaster, that God gave me a future and a hope. That’s exactly what I was looking for and what I needed. He said the way to have a good future and hope is through trusting in His Son Jesus. Once again, I didn’t understand everything about God and Jesus; I just knew that the church people and my aunt were always praying for me, they always made it a point to tell me they were praying for me. I never thought too much about it before, but in that moment, it seemed like the only hope I had…praying to Jesus. So that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t know if I was doing it right or saying the right things, but I just said what I was feeling, and I said it sincerely to Jesus. I told Him I wanted out of stripping and I needed a new job and that I hated the life I was living and I wanted to live better and be happier and more than anything…to be loved the way that preacher man was talking about. I asked Jesus if He was really the answer to all these things than to please help me turn my life around.
Throughout my life I tried a lot of things to find the love and happiness I missed as a child and while I was growing up. It wasn’t until I tried Jesus that I finally felt new and whole and loved unconditionally. It was hard to believe that God loved me right where I was, standing nearly naked in that strip club, but He did. He knew I needed His love, and He found me through a couple of church ladies that showed up one night and kept praying for me. And even though I kept putting off going to church because I felt out of place and ashamed, the bottom line was that God already knew who I was and where I was. In His own Words He says that He knows our every thought, He knows our every step, and there is nothing about us that is hidden from Him. And still…He loved me enough to send people right out to the club to tell me that His Son Jesus loves me and is waiting for me to say yes to His hand of love. God loves you too and that’s the only reason I came back to the strip clubs. I wanted to be sure you know about His love for you and the hope you have in Jesus Christ. His love is powerful and unending; Jesus will never fail you or harm you. If you want this kind of love for yourself just ask God for it, He’s waiting for you. He sent His only Son Jesus to die for your sins so that you could have a brand new life and the promise of Heaven. There is a simple prayer below to help you invite Jesus into your life.
“Dear God, I believe You love me and You have a plan for my life. I’m tired of living life without You. I believe You gave Your one and only Son Jesus to take the weight of my sin. I want your forgiveness and I want to live with you forever. I accept Jesus as my Savior and ask Him into my heart. I choose life, I choose love. Jesus, I choose You. Amen”
If you want to talk to someone about the decision you just made or want someone to pray with you, please call or stop by our church. Jesus awaits your prayer…